My ex is stopping me seeing my child.
You can’t make anyone hand a child over, and trying to can make things worse. What you can do is show what has been happening. With no court order, the usual routes are mediation and an application to the family court; in some countries you must try mediation first. With an order, you can ask the court to enforce it. Either way, your record matters: dates, messages, and what was agreed.
If a child or anyone is in danger now, call 999 (UK), 112 (Ireland), 000 (Australia), 911 (US and Canada) or 111 (New Zealand).
Where you stand
It starts with one question: is there a court order?
A court order is a document from a court: it has the court’s name and a case number, and it is sealed or signed by the court. An arrangement you made yourselves, even written down and signed, usually isn’t one unless a court has approved it.
Your record
Courts look for facts, not opinions.
A family court decides on the child’s welfare. What helps it see what has really been happening is a calm, dated record. Six things are worth keeping:
- Every missed or cancelled timeThe date, what should have happened, what happened instead, and the reason given, in their words.
- The messages themselvesThe whole conversation, exported with its dates, not only the screenshots that help you. A complete record is easier to rely on.
- What was agreed or orderedThe court order, a written arrangement, or the messages where you both agreed times.
- Your offersEach time you offered a time, a swap or a call, and what came back. It shows you kept trying.
- Your part in the child’s lifeSchool emails, parents’ evenings, doctor’s appointments, activities you paid for or went to.
- A note on the dayShort and factual, written the same day: what time, who was there, what was said. Feelings can wait.
Official guidance also asks parents to keep messages about the child separate from money or the house, and to keep children out of the conflict. Cafcass · Justice Canada
Free tool
Start your record today.
Each time contact is due, add a line: what happened, the reason you were given, and a short note. It stays in this browser, on this device; nothing is uploaded. Print it or save it as a PDF whenever you need it.
Your entries will appear here, newest first.
Saved only in this browser. On a shared device, print it and delete it when you’re done.
Have the messages too? Turn a WhatsApp chat into a dated transcript →
See it in the app
Three cancelled visits: see how it puts your papers in order.
- Add your papers.The whole message export, the order, your notes. Before the language model reads a word, names become tags.
- Every visit on one line.Each cancellation dated, quoted and linked to its message. The gaps show too, like April, with nothing in the case yet.
- It quotes the law where you live. Coming in early accessThe sections that apply to your case, in the law’s own words, with a link to the official text. Change the country above and it changes too.
- It prepares a record of contact.What the papers show, date by date, each point with its message. Your own account is marked as yours.
Sample case. Names and papers are fictional.
What the law says
The law, in its own words.
Five questions every parent in this position asks, answered only from the law itself: the section, the passage that answers it highlighted, and a link to the official text.
This is what the law says, quoted from the official text. It isn’t advice about your situation, and laws change: check the official site. In the US, custody law is set by each state; California is shown as an example.
Questions people ask
The questions that keep you up at night.
Can my ex stop me seeing my child if there’s no court order?
Without a court order there’s nothing a court can enforce yet, so neither parent can be made to hand a child over. The usual route is mediation and, if that doesn’t settle it, an application to the family court. Keep offering time in writing meanwhile: those messages become part of your record.
Should I stop paying child support until I can see my child?
Child support and time with your child are separate legal matters, handled separately everywhere this guide covers. Stopping payments won’t restore contact, and it can lead to enforcement.
Can I call the police to make my ex let me see my child?
For an ordinary disagreement about contact, no: official guidance sends these to mediation and the family court. Where there is an existing order, some places let police help enforce it. If anyone is in danger, call emergency services straight away.
My older child says they don’t want to come. What now?
The law in every country here says a child’s views must be considered; several say they’re weighed with the child’s age and maturity (see what the law says). Keep offering, keep it calm, keep a record, and keep the child out of the adult conflict: official guidance asks parents not to question children about the other parent or ask them to report back.
What if I’m worried about my child’s safety, or my own?
If anyone is in danger now, call emergency services. Tell the mediator or the court about safety concerns: in England and Wales, Australia and New Zealand, safety concerns such as domestic abuse can exempt you from having to try mediation first.
Do I need a lawyer?
You don’t have to have one: you can represent yourself, and many parents do. Getting advice, even once, is worth it if you can. A lawyer can help with one task at a time, such as checking a statement or advising before a hearing, for a fixed fee. Ask for “limited scope” or “unbundled” help.
You’re not alone
You don’t have to do this alone.
Legal aid isn’t available to everyone, so many parents do some or all of this themselves. Free and low-cost help exists: check whether you qualify, and get advice where it counts.
Showing help for England & Wales. Change it with “Where you live” above.
“I built this after going through it myself.” — Andrew, founder
With a lawyer or without one, walk in with your papers in order.
PROVEAiBLE reads your papers, sets out the facts with their pages, shows where the papers disagree, quotes the law for where you live, and prepares your papers for the hearing. It never tells you which legal step to take, or how it will turn out. Law for more countries: coming in early access
Sources, checked 1–2 October 2026
- England & Wales: Children Act 1989; gov.uk, making child arrangements; form C100; form C79; mediation voucher scheme; Cafcass guidance for parents
- Ireland: Guardianship of Infants Act 1964 (revised); courts.ie, access; Legal Aid Board
- Australia: Family Law Act 1975; Federal Circuit and Family Court; Family Relationships Online
- United States: California Family Code, Division 8; California Courts self-help
- Canada: Divorce Act; Justice Canada, parenting
- New Zealand: Care of Children Act 2004; Ministry of Justice, care of children
General information, not legal advice. Laws and court processes change; check the official pages before you act.